A friend has just passed away or perhaps someone within the family. It’s always hard to come up with the right thing to say during moments like these. There is already so much of grief and the last thing you or anyone would want to do is say something inappropriate or insincere sounding.

If you have to attend someone’s funeral or wake, be it someone close or not, remember to keep your condolences short. A simple “I’m sorry” is sometimes the only

thing that is necessary. I believe a hug would do wonders as well. If you are unable to attend the funeral, a letter or short note can help in forwarding your condolences. Keep these few points in mind:

• Avoid being over-dramatic
• Make sure you mention the name of the person who has passed away
• Offer to help in some way
• Do not say things like ‘look at the bright side’- they is no bright side about death. Each individual has their own way of dealing with truths in life like death.
• Close the letter with an expression or sympathy, but be careful with your word of choice. Say something along these lines- “Take of yourself” or “You are in my prayers”.

Some people prefer sending flowers or wreaths and feel they convey their message more effectively. Try not to send flowers that are too colourful. The colour white or beige suits the sombre environment and these two colours also express purity and calmness. Some of these flowers that fall in this category are the Marigold andAzalea. Attaching gift baskets or other items is a bad idea and if you do have the extra cash, a better alternative would be better to offer some donation to the deceased’s family. Be sure to take into consideration the cultural background of the deceased. Some faiths don’t believe or practice receiving or sending flowers for that matter. You might not want to send flowers to a Malay funeral. If you do want to offer your condolences, it’s best to do so personally.

On the other hand, a typical Chinese funeral is heaving with wreaths and flowers.

The use of white and yellow flowers, represent death and are usually offered and sent to the deceased’s family along with a personal visit to offer condolences.

Flowers represent most emotions and most occasions. However, you want to make sure that you send the right kind of flowers, especially for funerals. A florist will usually be able to assist you in the choice of flowers. It’s also a great gesture to add a personalized card with the arrangement indicating who the arrangement is from. The funeral director will likely collect these cards and give them to the family separately.

Condolences are not only offered during the demise of a person but also tragic moments like divorce or loss of a job. Check out our e-cards to convey your condolences in the most appropriate manner.